Friday, January 3, 2014

My Best Craziest Decision

So I'm doing this 30 Days of Hustle thing this month with a group of awesome dreamers, led by Jon Acuff.  If you are not familiar with him or his books, or his blog, or his hilarious tweets, check him out! It is a neat experiment/adventure in getting stuff done and actually accomplishing goals.  It is right up my alley and has really gotten me thinking and dissecting a lot of goals, but one in particular, my three things outside my comfort zone. I am such a a planner of plans for planners. If you need a list made or a plan developed, I'm your girl.  I can make an itinerary that will make OCD wedding planners cry tears of joy. (I had a 2 inch binder for my trip to Alaska...yeah) But this planning has notoriously gotten me in trouble.  I battle anxiety and panic attacks and I know a lot of that is due to being so attached to my plans.  If one thing goes wrong, I freak out and get stressed.  I have come a long way in that department and am very thankful for that, but I have a loooonng way to go.  So figuring out how to be flexible, spontaneous, and even more flexible has done wonders for that struggle.  Also realizing that when I make those plans, they WILL change. No doubt about it.  So because of all that, I don't take risks.  I don't go out of my comfort zone, I don't do scary things.  (If they are outside of my comfort zone I have to have color coded binder with printed MapQuest directions on how to get back to my comfort zone...) Hince the 30 days of challenging myself to go outside my box.

As I have been journaling and analyzing my goal, I started thinking about times when I did go outside my box and take a risk.  The number one craziest thing I have ever done in my life was buy my horse, Sadie Mae.  Granted I had been contemplating buying one for about 6 months, but when it came down to making the actual decision, I made it quick and I made it without asking permission, without double checking with people, or without making a pros and cons list.  I went to Tennessee with two of my best friends, rode her once, offered the owner a lower price, got turned down, and I left. As I pulled away from the farm, I couldn't stop thinking about her.  We stopped at Cracker Barrel for dinner and I still couldn't stop thinking about her.  With a little lot of encouragement from my friends, I quickly called up the owner and told her I would like to buy her horse.  I will never, ever forget that feeling.  That moment when my heart finally spoke louder than my brain. And it was the best craziest decision I have ever made.  It has been a ridiculous roller coaster ride and has had quite the learning curve, but I would not change it for anything.  That silly 4 legged animal has taught me more about myself than I ever thought an animal could.  Sometimes taking the biggest risk has the biggest rewards.

It is moments like that that I have to remind myself of when I am trying to figure out who I am, or what I want to be when I grow up.  I have to remind myself that I CAN survive when I go outside of my comfort zone. Not only survive, but be completely changed and experience something amazing! I CAN  take chances and not die. I am not saying all my risk taking will end this way, but certainly I am capable of much more than what is just inside my box, and would never even get to see it if I don't step outside once in a while. What my three things of spontaneity/out of the box/crazy/risky things are? I have no clue.  I am hoping that is the point...I don't want to plan what my spontaneous things are, even though I am fighting every fiber of my being to not do that right now.  But! I am excited to see what happens this month, what crazy thing I will do next, and what awesome things lay just outside my box!

And just so you all can drool at my beautiful horse, here she is!

1 comment:

  1. Wow! Sadie IS a beautiful horse! And YOU, Hannah, are a beautiful person! You are so strong! And you write beautifully too! It's so fun to hear about your adventures! Love you, friend!